OK! Big news day today. Lots and lots of news, and it’s all new. Hope everybody’s sitting down for this. Ready? Good! Let’s begin!

We’re not going on tour this fall.

We were going to, but then we were like, “Nah.” Getting paid to travel around the country and do what you love may sound like a great way to spend your autumn, but take it from us, it’s no walk in the park. In fact, there are so many downsides to fall touring that we’re not even going to list one.

Please understand that this has nothing to do with the booking agency we took on earlier with this summer, who no longer represents us. It’s easy to jump to the conclusion that this sudden cancellation is the result of Speechwriters LLC putting their total trust in an untried young agency, one that promptly bit off more than it could chew and then choked, leaving us stranded in the eleventh hour and forced to shatter the dreams of our fans while slinking back into the corner to lick our wounds and regroup.

PLEASE! This couldn’t be further from the truth. What happened was, we simply woke up a few days ago and decided to cancel the tour. And the tour was like, “OK.” So here we are.

In other news, the Spring Tour is still definitely on, and our old friends at Golden Management have jumped back into the saddle to help us make sure it’s A Tour To Remember. Old songs, new songs, better haircuts, maybe even a little foam. There’s also a new LP in the works, but we can’t tell you anything about it for another couple of weeks, or else we will have blown all our news in a single day. And news, like the words “I love you,” should be meted out sparingly if at all.

We left some new mp3s in the Street Team area, for those of you who are into that sort of thing. Speaking of which, huge thanks to everyone who’s been helping out with Operation Mixtape, it has thus far been a phenomenal success, to the point where it’s now Misha who has stopped returning Anna Kournikova’s phone calls and not the other way around, and we are seriously all in your debt for this.

Anyways, that’s that. Hope you’ve been enjoying the summer, I’m sure we’ll have more exciting news for you before it’s all over and done with.

Cheers,

The Band