I have a lot of catching up to do, this being The Historical Record and all, but in the name of brevity I’m going to do a subjective, play-by-play synopsis of our last seven shows and hope everything comes out OK.
NEW YORK CITY: An all-around fantastic time, but the highlight for me had to be reparking the car with the We Are Scientists’ Keith Murray, as that car really needed to be reparked, and I think the three of us did one hell of a job reparking it.
BATES COLLEGE: The highlight here, and I think everyone there present will agree with me, was the shower.
PROVIDENCE: When we first got to Tommy’s Place, the proprietor took us aside and brought us up to speed on the local law enforcement scene. Apparently, a new police chief had taken office nights before, and in an effort to show the town he meant business, had launched a truly unprecedented attack on underage drinking, tearing up the clubs like it was 1929 and leaving the college students who usually filled the place on a Friday night “trembling and getting shitfaced in their fucking dorms.” So that was nice.
MIDDLEBURY COLLEGE: They have a sandwich at Middlebury called the Dr. Feelgood, which is basically a grilled cheese sandwich, but with chicken fingers inside. Second only to Rochester’s fabled garbage plate as proof that they do, in fact, grow marijuana that far north.
BOSTON: This actually happened a few days earlier, but bears repeating. It was the evening of Yom Kippur, and we had just entered Throwback Micah’s strictly kosher household at 4:30 in the morning. Micah had found a snack and was showing us to our respective beds.
Micah: (chewing furiously on a meatstick) “Hey guys, check it out, my little brother fell asleep on the couch.” (sneaks over to little brother, shoves meatstick in his face.) “HEY, DANIEL!”
Daniel, little brother: (still half asleep) “…huh?”
Micah: “QUICK, EAT THIS!”
Daniel: “Uh…” (takes bite out of meatstick, chews.)
Daniel: (eyes suddenly wide, shoots bolt upright.) “Aw, man! Fuck you! I was fasting!” (storms off, still chewing.)
WHITTIER COLLEGE: At this point in the tour, Misha and I were nearly dead from both jet lag and generally letting ourselves go after the Boston show. The shock of having to say goodbye to Throwback was just too much: our carefully maintained health and exercise regimens were quickly discarded in favor of bacon-wrapped hotdogs and chili-cheese fries, and as we pulled into Whittier there was a very real feeling that one of us was either going to pass out or throw up onstage that night. Not the best way to repay your own flesh and blood brother for hooking up a show, so you can imagine our relief when we found out that we had not only three hours to kill before soundcheck, but a fully functional fitness center with both a hot tub and an episode of Family Guy that neither of us had seen before. It was a magical night.
SAN LUIS OBISPO: Misha let me have an electric guitar for the night, and I almost wept with joy.
I’m sure there were more, but at first glance these appear to be the stand-out memories of this fall tour. Thank you, as always, to everyone who gave us directions, bought us food, let us sleep on your couch, and/or allowed us to completely dominate you at Paperboy. You’ll always have a special place in our hearts.