in about twenty minutes, i will head out with rob to the airport to fly back to new york and resume the tour after a magical week about which i will divulge nothing unless asked point blank, and even then i may lie if the mood strikes me.
i feel that i should be the first to admit that during the week before the break, i was trying something new. i was trying, on some level, to re-imagine myself, but i have realized that the phoenix that sprung from those ashes was both stupid and unattractive (not unlike certain bandmates), and i wish to smother it before it takes flight.
i was considering making the change from jack to jackson. maybe at first just as a stage name thing, but perhaps as a life change as well. this last year has been host to numerous awakanings and bouts of self-realization for me, and since i didn’t have a real concrete idea for a new tattoo, i opted to change my name as documentation of these epiphanies.
as i said, stupid and unattractive, though not entirely without noble intent.
i will be getting reams of shit for this from the band for weeks innumerable, and i thought it only fair to to confess to you before you hear it from onstage in the poor vernacular spewing from the mouths of my esteemed frontmen. i’m truly sorry for any pain this whole fiasco may have rendered like fat from a duck breast.
my sister made me two-bite cupcakes with vanilla frosting and fresh strawerries tonight. so many angels wandering around.
also, currently listening non-stop to we are scientists (which comes as a surprise to no one i’ve actually spoken to in the last year and a half), and we get to see them in vermont for a ski retreat, ice cream feed, and beard growing competition. i am fucking giddy about this.
also reading denis johnson’s “jesus’ son”, and perfecting the oatmeal breakfast. that’s about it, really. i’m ok, how are you?