if there is any justice in the world, the yankees will get knocked out today and we can all get on with our lives.

that aside, speechwriters llc has successfully completed yet another marathon drive and are presently gearing up for our first show with the alternate routes in chicago. i love chicago and wish the white sox the best of luck and it must be said that il duque is a fuck-off amazing pitcher, but chicago needs to get its act together when it comes to as side of fruit with oatmeal. a side of fruit for oatmeal should be berries and such, not watermelon and chunks of orange. i don’t know how the hell that happened this morning, but hopefully, chicago, it was a fluke.

mark, if you happen to read this, you have saved the band hours of tedious boredom and we are eternally thankful in spite of the fact that castlevania 2 doesn’t work.

dave is tapping me on the shoulder, which is llc code for “get off the damn kinko’s internet work station.” dave in a rush is up probably the only contender against dave with a few drinks in him for the title of scariest incarnation of dave. he’s like a cornered mountain goat. it’s sublime and poetic to see in the flesh, but poke it with the stick of delay and you will reap the wrath of dave as a mountain goat. dear god i need some sleep.


This will be the saddest post thus far: Our van is in trouble. It’s not dying but its hurting. It keeps getting stuck in 1st gear. Is it the cold weather, is it the gear and huge frames of the band members, or is it the fact that it has over 530,000 miles on it? (Seriously it really does) Whatever it may be, we need your prayers cause we’re not even halfway through the tour. Respect.

Well, it appears my brother is a criminal. I can’t say I’m suprised. I guess I’ve always known ever since that time we free-based outside a synagogue…

Okay that’s not true, but it could be.

That brings me to the next point, technology and it’s effect on human beings. In my line of work, I deal with aggrivating technology on a daily basis and work yesterday was no different. If you’ve ever dealt with password encrypted PDFs, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Somehow having the tools to do something, but not being able to do it just makes people go crazy. Beyond that, my computer’s been in the shop for a week and managed to crap out after I spent the better part of my free time in the course of a week scanning in pictures for my sister’s birthday, only to try to show the slideshow to my brother-in-law and have the thing note even be able to start up.

The moral of the story of course is to wear leather clothing and live in rural Kentucky.