And here we are. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the new website. It’s blue. This is both because people were having trouble reading the purple and gold and because we’ve had it up to here with everybody thinking we’re Lakers fans. Or at least I have.

Actually, I don’t think anybody ever made that assumption. And I guess it wouldn’t really have bothered me if they had.

I would go into more detail here, were it not for the fact that the sun appears to be rising and I was kind of hoping to be functional tomorrow. God bless America and FUTK.

Another week has passed, and still no word from the LLC. What the hell are they doing back there, that they can’t take five minutes to check in and let their friends know what’s going on? Is everything OK?

Of course everything’s OK. We’re fine, and we appreciate your asking. There are, however, a billion and one things going on right now, such as the booking of yet another tour, the writing of yet another album, and the long overdue redesign of speechwritersllc.com, so we may be a little sluggish when it comes to returning your emails. We apologize for this and assure you that it’s because we’re working around the clock, seven days a week, trying to make your lives as full and happy as they can possibly be.

We realize we’ve been off the radar for a while and apologize for this. Something happened between Minneapolis and Tacoma that we’re still not ready to talk about, and I think we’ve been avoiding you because of this. Which isn’t fair, and we’re sorry.

Misha and I are presently in scenic Ashland, Oregon, seated in the same blurred livingroom that graces the cover of Satisfiction, digesting whatever it was we had for lunch and preparing ourselves mentally for what is to be the final show of the greatest tour in the world. For us, anyway. The next 72 hours are going to be a hectic blur of whiskey and spotlights and gas stations and Mother’s Days, so we’ll get back to you with a full debriefing shortly thereafter.

Cheers,

Dave