if there is any justice in the world, the yankees will get knocked out today and we can all get on with our lives.

that aside, speechwriters llc has successfully completed yet another marathon drive and are presently gearing up for our first show with the alternate routes in chicago. i love chicago and wish the white sox the best of luck and it must be said that il duque is a fuck-off amazing pitcher, but chicago needs to get its act together when it comes to as side of fruit with oatmeal. a side of fruit for oatmeal should be berries and such, not watermelon and chunks of orange. i don’t know how the hell that happened this morning, but hopefully, chicago, it was a fluke.

mark, if you happen to read this, you have saved the band hours of tedious boredom and we are eternally thankful in spite of the fact that castlevania 2 doesn’t work.

dave is tapping me on the shoulder, which is llc code for “get off the damn kinko’s internet work station.” dave in a rush is up probably the only contender against dave with a few drinks in him for the title of scariest incarnation of dave. he’s like a cornered mountain goat. it’s sublime and poetic to see in the flesh, but poke it with the stick of delay and you will reap the wrath of dave as a mountain goat. dear god i need some sleep.

respek.

i ate fried dough with maple sauce at the fryeburg fair. it was delicious. we’ve also been watching rome and thus far it is fantastic. also, one of us fell out of a kayak. outside of the redsox getting stomped it has been a marvelous send off from vacationland. that’s all i can think of.

i have had a wonderful day even though beacon vintage in brooklyn didn’t have any cool show shirts in my size. any day where you can have a falafal sandwich with hummus, no pickles and hot sauce from oasis on bedford is a wonderful day. old friends and good food and words like “babysnakes” and strong coffee have made this a wonderful day. having my mamma roll into town on business with room in her suite at the waldorf-astoria for her son who has misplaced his bathroom bag has made this a wonderful day. also there is a bathtub and a fluffy robe and potentially room service when it comes time for breakfast. also she brought me new bass strings which is fantastic. the red sox will win tomorrow, so tomorrow is sure to be a wonderful day as well, but to get there i must sleep and i am fucking exhausted from all this wonderfulling and the drive from boston last night where i saw rick and got to laugh a lot and the sox won and all this other stuff that i would love to discuss with you later over coffee but now i’m all warm from the bath and it’s time for bed so goodnight and congratulations to james frey who i love and happy birthday to jess who is a sassy sally and i hope you all sleep well.