We, as a band, spend a lot of time thinking about sleep when we’re on tour. It could be argued that we spend more time thinking about it than actually doing it. It could also be argued that, for all the time and energy we put into debating what qualifies as right and wrong in the world of sleep, we have no idea what we’re talking about.

Most people are taught, at some point, that eight hours a night is “standard.” Anything less will kill you, anything more and you’re probably a communist. Misha swears that anything less than ten hours leaves him groggy and irritable, while I was once told by a very powerful man that the secret to his success was getting exactly six hours a night. It gets even more confusing when you factor in the sourceless anecdotes that, for instance, sleep deprivation doesn’t hit you until two days after, or that eight hours of drunk sleep only count as four hours of normal sleep, or that the human body was originally designed to sleep for a few hours at night and then take an after-lunch siesta, and so on.

So I did a little internet research and figured I’d share my findings.

FINDING #1: Sleep cycles last roughly 90 minutes. It varies from person to person and can change over time, but this is important to know, because it’s apparently really jarring (both physically and emotionally) to be awakened in the middle of REM sleep, which generally lasts about 20 minutes and starts one hour after falling asleep.

FINDING #2: If you want to be a famous inventor or dictator, try using the Uberman Sleep Schedule. Bear in mind, however, that this is totally insane and could possibly kill you. But you will be awake and (allegedly) functional for 22 hours out of every day.

FINDING #3: The primary function of sleep is memory upkeep and mental organization, rather than physical recovery or energy conservation. Which I thought was kind of cool.

CONCLUSION: My personal recommendation, as a semi-popular musician and amateur sleep therapist, is that you shoot for at least six hours a night, let yourself catch up on the weekends, and use a dual-setting alarm clock whenever possible. Take naps when you need them and don’t freak out if it’s 2:30am and you have to be at work by 7 – just remember that it’s better to get three hours and wake up between cycles than it is to get four hours and have an alarm clock rip you out of REM sleep.

I think.

Carpe noctum, and caveat lector.
-D

back from break (which was amazing)
happy to be back together again in the van
ate great cheap food at a diner
had a wonderful afternoon evening night with j ford (aka jared ford aka ja redford) in connecticut

just easing back into this blog thing

in about twenty minutes, i will head out with rob to the airport to fly back to new york and resume the tour after a magical week about which i will divulge nothing unless asked point blank, and even then i may lie if the mood strikes me.

i feel that i should be the first to admit that during the week before the break, i was trying something new. i was trying, on some level, to re-imagine myself, but i have realized that the phoenix that sprung from those ashes was both stupid and unattractive (not unlike certain bandmates), and i wish to smother it before it takes flight.

i was considering making the change from jack to jackson. maybe at first just as a stage name thing, but perhaps as a life change as well. this last year has been host to numerous awakanings and bouts of self-realization for me, and since i didn’t have a real concrete idea for a new tattoo, i opted to change my name as documentation of these epiphanies.

as i said, stupid and unattractive, though not entirely without noble intent.

i will be getting reams of shit for this from the band for weeks innumerable, and i thought it only fair to to confess to you before you hear it from onstage in the poor vernacular spewing from the mouths of my esteemed frontmen. i’m truly sorry for any pain this whole fiasco may have rendered like fat from a duck breast.

my sister made me two-bite cupcakes with vanilla frosting and fresh strawerries tonight. so many angels wandering around.

also, currently listening non-stop to we are scientists (which comes as a surprise to no one i’ve actually spoken to in the last year and a half), and we get to see them in vermont for a ski retreat, ice cream feed, and beard growing competition. i am fucking giddy about this.

also reading denis johnson’s “jesus’ son”, and perfecting the oatmeal breakfast. that’s about it, really. i’m ok, how are you?