Are the Speechwriters really on tour? Like, as we speak?

Yes.

Crept right up on us, this one, although I guess it’s technically been in the works since April. Anyways, here we are. We’ve packed our bags, we’ve said our goodbyes, and we’ve begun packing our extra long minivan right up to its extra long rafters.

Actually, that’s not true at all. I’m nowhere near done packing, I think I may have started one or two actual feuds by not saying goodbye, and I don’t even know where the van is right now. But all of this is changing, and soon, as we get underway bright and early tomorrow afternoon.

This is going to be a tour of man-sized proportions and ladylike grace, with both the nail-biting intrigue of a Martian fur trapping expedition and the thigh-slapping comedy you’d expect from four relatively humorless dudes living out of a van for ten weeks. We’ve made a lot of bold promises in the past, but we’re about to make our boldest one yet: we, Speechwriters LLC, arguably the world’s shittiest bloggers, are going to be updating this diary every single day while we’re on tour.

Whether or not anybody outside of the van notices or cares is almost beside the point. What’s important is that we’re doing it for ourselves, for each other, and for history. And ultimately for Misha’s mom, who’s sort of become our matron saint, and remains the gold standard against which all of our blog posts and public performances are constantly weighed and assayed for helpfulness, accuracy and luridity. (Hi Mrs. Chellam.)

We think this is going to be our best tour ever, and we cordially invite you to follow along at home. You can also visit the forums and place bets on what day we finally lose our minds and start eating each other.