Are the Speechwriters really on tour? Like, as we speak?

Yes.

Crept right up on us, this one, although I guess it’s technically been in the works since April. Anyways, here we are. We’ve packed our bags, we’ve said our goodbyes, and we’ve begun packing our extra long minivan right up to its extra long rafters.

Actually, that’s not true at all. I’m nowhere near done packing, I think I may have started one or two actual feuds by not saying goodbye, and I don’t even know where the van is right now. But all of this is changing, and soon, as we get underway bright and early tomorrow afternoon.

This is going to be a tour of man-sized proportions and ladylike grace, with both the nail-biting intrigue of a Martian fur trapping expedition and the thigh-slapping comedy you’d expect from four relatively humorless dudes living out of a van for ten weeks. We’ve made a lot of bold promises in the past, but we’re about to make our boldest one yet: we, Speechwriters LLC, arguably the world’s shittiest bloggers, are going to be updating this diary every single day while we’re on tour.

Whether or not anybody outside of the van notices or cares is almost beside the point. What’s important is that we’re doing it for ourselves, for each other, and for history. And ultimately for Misha’s mom, who’s sort of become our matron saint, and remains the gold standard against which all of our blog posts and public performances are constantly weighed and assayed for helpfulness, accuracy and luridity. (Hi Mrs. Chellam.)

We think this is going to be our best tour ever, and we cordially invite you to follow along at home. You can also visit the forums and place bets on what day we finally lose our minds and start eating each other.

Greetings everybody and a happy weekend to all. Like my co-worker calls it, “weak-end” is just about how I’m feeling after a pretty grueling week of juggling work, commuting, and apartment hunting.

Exciting news this week with the public release of not only a new iPod, but something to play on it with the SWLLC Mixtape 2005. The boys are nice enough to release a smattering of full versions of their songs (including a majority from their newest album) for your listening pleasure. Download the mixtape, burn it, share it. It’s all about the music. Just don’t sell it please.

Speaking of the new album, just a friendly reminder that you still have an additional week to get your entries into the Bull Moose After Party Photo Contest. I’m working on getting some really great shwag for the winner/s and you’ve still got a pretty good chance of winning if you’ve got some good ideas of things to do with albums. I’ve enjoyed looking at people’s pictures they’ve sent me and I’ve gotta say they just keep getting better so please keep it up!

With that, it’s time for a big night out. Here’s a picture of what you could be submitting as entires. Get creative!

I turn my back for five minutes and this is what happens. Hi everyone. This is Dave. They say a blog is like a puppy, in that you need to take care of it regularly or one of your friends – usually one who’s better looking, has a higher paying job, and is way more confident than you – is going to swoop in and satisfy her in ways that you simply can’t, and next thing you know you’re half-bald and staring down the wrong end of thirty from a coldwater flat in Minneapolis’ least cool suburb, wondering not only how they got your new address but why the fuck they think you’d want to come to their wedding.

My brother Josh appears to have this situation under control, but I wanted to chime in with a quick hello from The Road. What’s this “The Road,” you may be asking, as our great North American tour, two thirds of which you don’t even know about yet, doesn’t start for at least another week? For me, The Road was a two day microtour with Cataldo, which mostly consisted of me and my girlfriend watching him and his girlfriend get kicked out of bars along I-5, but was interspersed with enough heartbreaking music and weird tales of Idaho childhood that I’m already calling it my best Labor Day weekend ever.

I also went to Bumbershoot with my friend Brady, who’s German, and it was (predictably) amazing. We got our asses handed to us both physically and spiritually by Ted Leo and The Decemberists, which we were of course anticipating, but it was Flight of the Conchords who came out of left field and instantly won my vote for “Biggest Unexpected Surprise At A Festival In My Life So Far,” which had previously gone to Fun Lovin’ Criminals in 1996 and hadn’t really been updated since.

After that, though, the stories get pretty dull, and I feel like I’ve already spent way too much of this past week talking about myself, so I will leave you here and trust that my kid brother will be back shortly to resume the doing of whatever it is he’s been doing. But it’s been great talking to you, and I really look forward to doing this again some time.

Sincerely,
Dave